Monday, March 8, 2010

Wanted: Studio Assistant

Photo credit: Rochas, Fall 2010 Collection
Lately I've been wondering what it would be like to have a studio assistant, especially as I have no shortage of ideas, but am chronically short of time..... In my wildest dreams, I'd have a bevy of studio assistants a la Jeff Koons or Damien Hirst to execute my ideas as I scoured the world for inspiration.

This would be the job description for this fantasy position. The pay would be non-existent, but the experience priceless!!!

1. Accompany me into deep, dark ravines for photo shoots to protect me from wild beasts and other creatures and to carry heavy photography equipment.

2. Attend gallery openings and other art related events in my place, making witty conversation with gallery owners and potential purchasers and drawing attention to my work.

3. Contact potential purchasers, curators and art dealers on my behalf.

4. Write witty blog posts when I am otherwise too tired or uninspired to do so.

5. Respond to all email requests for research assistance and blog comments.

6. Read uninspired phd theses on French fashion in the 18th century and summarize for me.

7. Thread my embroidery needle for me as my eyes tire and my hands cramp up.

8. Embroider, draw, photograph, and/or sculpt when I don't feel like it or have the time.

9. Source difficult-to-find antique mannequins, fabric and art materials and drag heavy items into my studio.

10. Write long grant proposals but don't tell me so I don't get disappointed when I don't get one.

Who am I kidding? I love doing all this stuff....well, most of it anyway.